


Brown Bird

by londonandtea



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Romance, Slow Romance, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28130589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/londonandtea/pseuds/londonandtea
Summary: Jasper Hale is at his end, his depression tainting every part of his life. Just when he thought the only thing he had figured out was Alice, a new girl at school comes in and rips his world, and everyone around him, apart. The further he delves into this, the more he realizes he might have found the one person in the world who will truly put his special gift to the test. Twilight AU, Bella/Edward, Jasper/OOC
Relationships: Jasper Hale/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	1. The Breaking Point

The sun slowly rose, trying to shine its golden light through but covered by clouds. I missed feeling the heat on my skin, but that was just the Southern boy in me wishing for long days past. Days when I didn't feel pain. Was there ever a time? I wasn't sure. Perhaps when I was young, truly young. Before the war, before all of this, I think I felt a day of peace. Or at least I hope I did.

"Are you sure you're okay? Did you not have enough to eat last night? We can skip today and go hunt again, I don't mind." Alice was always so kind to me. I never deserved it, I felt closer to an animal than a man. For someone who can control emotion and feel it so vividly, I am always so unsure of mine. My affection for her is there, but what is love? Is this what I feel? I don't know if my feelings are different since they're processed by a dead heart.

"I'm okay, I promise." My voice was low as I put my arm around her and kissed her forehead. Alice brought me peace, some clarity, guidance. I'd be dead without her, with hundreds of bodies dead because of me.

So why did I feel like I was dying everyday I spent with her, with the Cullens? Everyday I was alive?

"We're going to be late, are you riding with us or going alone?" Rosalie asked from downstairs. I grabbed Alice's hand, and touched it lightly upon my lips. She smiled widely, her eyes lighting up. We walked hand in hand downstairs, and I was immediately bombarded once I hit the living room.

"Are you guys fucking kidding me?" Edward smacked the side of my arm. The floor trembled lightly under my feet as Emmett boasted a laugh.

"Language!" Esme said in the kitchen, her eye roll so grand it was almost audible.

"And for what do I owe this lovely greeting to?" I could quickly hide my feelings, I learned to very on. Once you find out your pain can truly affect others, there was no way I was going to let anyone feel the way I did. I masked myself, a joyous boy.

"A bet? On whether I would kill Bella?" I smiled wickedly, and shrugged.

"Hey, I didn't bet against you." Edward turned to Emmett, who was already a five second start out the door.

"Idiots." Rosalie said, grabbing her handbag that was so expensive I couldn't even guess the price. Off we went, to a mundane school and try to live out everyday normal lives. After a while, the emotions of high school students all blended into one huge sludge of hormonal angst and horniness that I had to learn quickly to block out to not go mad. But it was all starting to pile up. My own emotions, figuring out what was real and what wasn't mixed in with my cover up and everyone around me. I was slowly drowning, everyday slowly pulling myself up just to go back down.

"Woah Jasper, what's wrong?" Alice asked again. He let his guard down briefly, lost in thought. They had just pulled into school, Rosalie quickly shooting him a look of concern before getting out of the car.

"Nothing, sorry. Just felt bad about the bet, I know Edward really cared about Bella and is struggling starting a relationship with her."

"Oh Jazzy, you're such a sweet man." Alice's hand laid gingerly on my face. "I can see you both laughing and having a wonderful time later today in lunch so I think no hard feelings, okay?"

"Okay." I managed a smile again, mentally building up a wall and cursing myself for doing so. I changed the topic quickly. "You know, Advanced Chemistry isn't that bad. There are actually things I'm learning I haven't learned in a while and it can be a little bit of a brain teaser."

"I'm much older than you Jasper, I've taken Advanced Chem at least twice over you. Ask me again in 20 years and maybe I'll think differently. I'll catch you at lunch?" Alice kissed me on my cheek and skipped away to her first class. I stared at her walk away, her joy in us, in this God forsaken excuse for a life we have. I must have felt that way at some point, right? Why can't I remember, why can't I feel anything?

"Hi Jasper." He looked over, Edward and Bella beside him. Her voice was timid, still very much afraid of him and of vampires. I tried to send her some soothing energy, but I was frail today, having difficulty with my own emotions.

"Bella, Edward. Looking forward to another riveting day at school?" I joked, smiling at Bella to try and give her come comfort. I didn't want her to feel bad around me, I couldn't fault her for being human.

"This is only her first time Jasper, don't scare her."

"It's alright, I think I've met the scariest part of highschool and I'm doing pretty well." She looked up at Edward, and he laughed. True love, there it was. In his eyes, in hers. The way they moved together, already in sync after only knowing each other a short time. It was different for a vampire, but was it different for each vampire? Alice had seen the vision, they were meant to be together. I had to get out of this mental headspace, but I had no idea where to start.

I made my way to Advanced Chemistry, the only class I had alone. Even though I had joked with Alice about it earlier, I was glad she wasn't in it, or any of my family. It was nice having a moment of peace, normalcy. I could sit in the back and not make a fuss. Think clearly, without the possibility of intrusion.

I took my usual seat at the empty two chair. It only took finishing one lesson early and perfect for Ms. West to not care I had no partner in the class. With my notebook out for "note taking" I was quickly ready to drift away to think and figure out my life.

"Class, welcome to yet another Monday. Before you open your books to start the new chapter, we have another new student! Two this year, what an exciting year at Forks High." Ms. West had a knack for dripping a light amount of almost unnoticeable sarcasm when she spoke.

"Hello."

First, it was her smell. It pulled me out of my daydream, throwing me head first back into the earth. I whipped my head at vampire speed, taking her in. She was tall, thin, her hair a tussled mess on her head. I analyzed all her features, her strong brown, hazel eyes, sharp nose and full lips. I took a deep breath again, my throat and chest burning. But I didn't want to hurt her, no. I could never kill her, I could never touch her with a single murderous finger on my hand.

"This is Charlotte, coming from…?"

"Call me Lottie. I'm from Tennessee. Where should I sit?" Her voice was deep, almost raspy. I followed her every curve, her tight black top underneath her brightly colored sweater, down to her black pants. I wanted to study every part of her, I wanted her to stay there. It felt like a sin, wanting her to take all her clothes off just so I could stare.

Jasper, get a grip!

I was rigid, back straight. I felt like an animal, but more alive than I had felt for weeks, years even. I let go on my breath and took another deep one in. Her scent was velvet to me, dark and rich like wine. I was intoxicated, I wanted it all.

"You can sit in the back next, we have an empty seat next to Jasper. Here is a book, and now we can all turn to chapter 11, chemical bonding…"

Sitting next to Lottie was almost unbearable. I couldn't look at her, her presence next to me overwhelming. The irony, Edward meeting Bella in this exact scenario except I didn't want to kill Lottie.

I knew nothing about her, except for I wanted to spend the rest of her life together.

The lecture went by almost in the blink of an eye. If someone had asked me what Ms. West talked about, I would have no clue. However, I could tell you Lottie had three freckles on her left hand, and had an anxious habit of picking at her nails that made me worried for her. I wanted to relieve her of her stress, make her feel nothing but bliss. She wrote in her notebook all class, but doodled along the margins words I couldn't see as her hair covered her notes. The more I breathed in the more I noticed, a faint smell of smoke but she couldn't be a smoker, she looked perfect. Her fingers bore no sign of smoking either.

I could almost physically feel the wall I had built around myself and her. I could not let my guard down, or every human in this room would lose their simple minds trying to understand the complexity of how I felt.

The bell rang, and I turned to her. She looked at me, smiling. She had a joyful energy to her, playful and unserious.

"You've been half staring at me all class and didn't think I'd notice?" If I had any blood, it would have turned my entire body bright red in embarrassment. She laughed, tucking a piece of long, almost pitch black hair behind her ear. Her ring caught the light as she looked down.

"I apologize miss, we just don't get newcomers here often. Especially…" I had to stop myself. I was losing every sense of sanity as the second passed.

"Is that a southern twang I hear? Where are you from?" She asked, standing to gather her things.

"Texas, miss." God I hated myself right now, why couldn't I stop saying miss?!

"Well I'm glad to have another southern soul here, so I don't feel so lonely." She walked away, and I took another deep breath to take it with me as she walked away. I followed her to the door, and was met with despair.

Alice.

My shield was fully up again, almost slipping when talking to Lottie. The further away she was, the more the reality set in. I had just fucked up everyone's lives in a single moment. I had just fucked up the life of the one person who had brought me out of my first darkness, giving in to myself.

She turned silently, and made a beeline to the door outside. I followed her, passing Rosalie and Emmett calling after us.

"Hey, Alice, Jasper what's….oh." We passed Edward, Bella's hand on his chest. My mind briefly thought of Lottie, and what her hand would feel like on mine.

"Jasper." Edward said. He had no emotion in his voice.

"What's going on?" I heard Rosalie ask before Alice and I went outside. We walked into the forest before Alice started running home. I followed her, and we were silent the entire time. I didn't know what to think, or what to do. I had no idea what awaited me at home. The only person who was there was Esme, the most understanding person on the planet. But would she understand me now? Would they kick me out of our family?

Alice stopped running right in front of our house. She looked at me. I couldn't keep my wall up, her sadness and despair was too much. It broke me down, and if we could cry, we would be sobbing. Ugly, two people feeling unbearable sadness.

"What do we do now?" Her voice was low.

"I don't know." All I knew was that I couldn't live this life alone. And in the last hour everything I knew had been turned on its head. Without Lottie, I was alone.

But that was completely untrue. I had Alice, I had my family. I was surrounded by love, it should be enough. How could a complete stranger come in and rip my life apart, completely destroy the one woman who has truly loved me for the better part of 50 years?


	2. Chapter 2

Night had fallen, and we were all silent in the living room. All I could do was let my guard down and feel all their emotions. I felt empty inside, and this was easy. Rosalie was furious, almost murderous. Edward was sad, but inquisitive. Emmett had no idea what was going on, Carlisle also feeling lost. Esme just wanted all of us to be happy, and didn’t know how that was going to happen.

“Can we go through this again?” Emmett asked. Rosalie barked out a laugh.

“Jasper is a dog, is what happened.” She said. I was stoic on the couch, my hands clasped in front of me as I stared at the ground. I couldn’t look at anyone, I was too embarrassed. 

“Rosalie, please. It’s very obvious they’re both in a lot of pain right now.” Esme said. She walked over to Alice and sat next to her. Why wouldn’t anyone comfort me?

At that moment, Edward took a step forward and stood by me. I was hoping he, out of everyone, would understand. The smell, the sudden change, the undying need to protect and keep this person close forever. 

“I just suddenly had a vision and everything was gone. It was the worst thing I had ever seen. Jasper was with...I don’t even know her name! And I was with someone else! We were all living our lives, somewhere differently and I just...It can’t be true. I can’t love anyone else but Jasper. This goes against everything I’ve ever known.” Alice said.

“You saw yourself with someone else?” Esme said, a little bit of hope in her voice. A potential light at the end of this tunnel. It wasn’t all despair for everyone, not forever.

“Esme, it can’t be! Jasper and I are meant to be, I saw the vision. Edward saw it too when he read my mind. Don’t you remember?”

“I do Alice. But, this vision is as real as that one. I don’t know what to say. I do know what it’s like to suddenly feel like your life is changed.” Everyone was quiet.

“I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to kill her. I don’t want to hurt you either Alice, I care about you deeply.” I couldn’t bring myself to look up.

“I’m not mad, Jasper. I’m just so very, very sad. I think I need to go away for a while and think. Alone.”  
We all knew what that meant. Edward had done it before, just leaving for days or weeks on end to stay with our friends in Alaska, or travel alone. 

“If that’s what you think is best. We’ll miss you, of course. I wouldn’t want you to leave, but I understand.” Carlisle said, his arms crossed.  
“Have you all lost your mind? We’re essentially just going to accept Jasper cheating on Alice? For who, some random new girl? I swear, you both are so stupid. New and shiny and you lose your fucking minds…”

“Rose, honey. Come on, don’t be like that.” Emmett walked over to Rosalie and put his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off, and walked away into the night. Emmett followed her, giving us a sad look before leaving. 

“I can stop it. I can ignore it, I don’t want to hurt anyone.” 

“No Jasper, you can’t. If you could, I would have seen it already.” 

“Maybe you both need some time alone.” Carlisle suggested. I nodded, Alice staying silent. Edward lay his hand on my shoulder lightly before heading out to the night to see Bella. Esme and Carlisle quickly followed, going far away to give us privacy. 

“I do love you Alice.”

“But you’re not in love with me.” Her eyes pierced me.

“Well, are you? Your vision-“

“Right now in this moment I am.”

I took her hand, and she didn’t pull away. I knew I had been feeling lost and sad for a while, but this stranger couldn’t be the answer to my problems.

But it could be a start.

“I won’t be sad forever. I don’t want to believe it, but I’ve seen it. And if that’s what I’m seeing now, then I have to go. Because I’m sad right now and Jasper, I love you so much but I also really hate you.”

We sat there quietly for a few moments, staring at each other. I knew what was going to happen, even if it was a difficult road ahead. But I had been through worse.

“I’ll always be here for you, I want you to know that. We don’t know the end of this road.” 

“I do.” 

She stood up, letting go of my hands. I grabbed her suddenly into a tight hug. Yes, I did love her. But she was right, I wasn’t in love with her. Not the kind of love that Esme shared with Carlisle, or Bella with Edward. I loved her in the way I would never let anything bad happen to her, I would always be there to support her, and want her to find her happiness. And somewhere along the way, I had subconsciously made my peace her happiness might be away from me.

“I’m going to go find Edward.”

“I’ll be back soon, I think. With someone. The endless life of being a vampire is a luxury in times like this. Eventually it has to all be alright.”

She turned and ran upstairs to collect her things. That would be the last time I would see Alice for who knows how long. I turned and ran out the door towards the town center. I had a vague memory of where Bella lived, and I needed to talk to Edward. He’s the only person who might be able to help me.

“Jasper.” Edward suddenly appeared beside me. It was the dead of night, the whole world quiet around us. “How did it go?”

“Alice is leaving, I think she’s going to Alaska. Or going to try and find whoever she saw in her vision.” Edwards mood shifted, sadness overwhelming him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. It all happened so suddenly, I just smelled her and then everything changed. I didn’t mean to do this.”

“I know. Come on, let’s take a walk. Bella won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.”

We walked silently beside each other for a long while. I was lost in my thoughts, and I knew Edward could hear them but there was so much going on inside my head I didn’t know where to start. 

“I think Lottie and Bella have a class together.” He broke our silence. Edward looked at me seriously, then laughed lightly. “You’ve got to admit this is all ridiculous.”

“I know it is. And I feel so terrible about it.”

“I’m sorry for laughing, that was insensitive of me.”

“No that’s ok. I can’t wait for that day, where I can just look back at this and laugh. You’re there, you have your girl and you’re happy and in love. When the sun was coming up this morning, all I could think of was why was I drowning in my own sadness. Now someone has come to drag my body out and she doesn’t even know it. I barely know it myself. It’s just her smell, Edward. What is wrong with me?”

We ended up back at the road that leads to home, the world around dark blue from the early morning.

“It was only her scent for a moment. Besides, once you smelled her, you didn’t want to kill her or hurt her. You wanted to protect her. That’s something else entirely. But once they captivate you, suddenly everything about them is something you admire. It’s different for us, Jasper. The moment our emotions change in such a big way like this, it’s done. These kind of feelings are deep. Yes, I am very sad about Alice. I don’t know how I would feel if her vision didn’t have her with us, and someone new… My goodness another vampire…”

At our home, the garage door was open with Alice’s car missing. Esme was waiting right outside the door, a small smile welcoming her two boys. 

“I don’t even know how to start talking to Lottie.” I admitted. I had been so afraid of killing a human for so long I had avoided much interaction with them until Bella came along. Now with Lottie, that was a whole new map of human interaction I had no idea how to navigate. 

“Like I said, I think Bella has a class with her. It’ll be a family mission.” Edward smiled jokingly, and I was glad I had at least one person on my side.  
“Rosalie is already on a mission to kill me.”

“Hi boys.” Esme embraced me in a hug, her small frame still comforting and loving. “I spoke with Alice at length before she left. This is going to be a hard road for us, but I think we’ll all make it through. However, you’re on a timeline. We absolutely need to meet her, and very soon.”

Even though I felt terrible, I had to keep Alice’s vision in mind. Her true love is still waiting for her, and mine is hopefully waiting for me.


End file.
